Reflections....

I might as well light my Christmas tree...on fire.

I have no money so I guess I will be Tiny Tim-ing it this year. Full of good cheer and broke.

But I'm a good girl this year and I hopeful have another job coming my way.

In other Broke Ass Chicka News.

 My birthday is coming and I'm going to be 20! I'm officially not a teenager....but still in limbo. 

I have an old soul, so age doesn't affect me. I feel like a 35 year old woman trapped within childlike confinements and rules.

I wanna have a nice birthday something I can remember. I remember birthdays where I did laundry, nothing much, ate cake. I never really felt mad or felt like something was due to me cause I made another 365 days pass by.....

but still...

I've been reflecting on 2008 It was slow and fast at the same time. I spent the year going through growing pains. I felt like GOD was putting my life in slow motion. It was slow to the point where I was literally watching seconds feel like hours. Choices waiting for decisions.

People taking me for granted. It felt like everyone was moving forward and I had a boulder to carry and a broken watch. 

In a sense I knew it was happening to me and I wondered WTF?! Can my plans go the way I want it?!

I'm glad for 2008 cause it leads to 2009 which I will be out....As soon as they say 3, 2, 1 Happy New Year!!!

At the begining of 2008 I promised myself to be truthful and try not to deny or cover up what I feel. 

I told my mother a dark secret. One I kept to myself for years....Everytime I would hear this story she would recite and feel so happy, sure of herself. I felt depressed. I told her and I felt so much better. I opened myself up to a certain Kermit and I'm glad I did. 

The truth hurts....

I think it hurts more when only you know.

btw I'm reading Twilight. ummm Am I the only one who feels that book is kinda predictable. I'm going to write a book because I'm sure I can come up with a better story.