I just called...

Hey It's November. I'll post some pictures of my endeavors while I left my blog abandoned. My Mac had other plans and the hard drive gave up. It just felt wrong to write on something else besides my baby. My sister got her macbook fixed so we good money in the mean time. Halloween wasn't spectacular but I had a laid back night. Umm I decided instead of a graphic designer I am going to be a tattoo artist. Nabisco *DING* 

Alrite I'm going to bed I have school in the morning.

Miscommunication.Wash. Repeat.

I think Saturday Night was a turning point for me and I'm excited to see where this adventure will take me. I don't wanna jink things just yet.

I honestly thought Adam was a controlling man and I wasn't waiting for the abusive parts. I figured out why he was acting funny and the sudden switch to his persona. He had feelings. Boys. I swear to GOD they make everything more complicated than it is. You're acting like a jackass because you figured out you really like me, maybe even love me. Pure stupidity, but then again when have I acted normal when smitten with someone.

Saturday nite we were suppose to go out. I got caught up, I still wanted to meet him but I didn't know If I would make it. He got scared and thought something had happened to me. He then proceeded to call up his goons and Lawdhavemercy. It wasn't helping that I wasn't picking up the phone and hanging up on him. Then my phone picked up and he heard a man he never heard before and then he really got paranoid. I really thought his recent behaviour was signs of an abusive man. I really wasn't ready for a Chris "takeyoudown" Brown.

Le sigh*

Moving on, I would like to make a public announcement. Rihanna is the only thing I look to forward to. Can we step out the box fashion wise? This is for all the upcoming celebrities and current ones I'm looking at. Please you have money and no real responsibility. They have all this cool shit designers are designing for people unike me (people with money and fame) and ya'll are opting to wear jeans and a tshirt EVERYDAY! Get interesting. If I wanted to look at pretty long hair bitches with sparkly dresses in my sight all the time I would go to the Barbie aisle in TOY R US. Thank you That is all.

Adam.

Finally Bish. I was wondering who the hell is Adam? LOL

Well Let's start at the beginning

wavy ass lines, more wavy ass lines, Wavy lines getting straighter to a flashback.

Adam was a cool dude. He was Funny. He was apart of discipleship. The same class Josh and I were taking among other friends. I always saw him and he always saw me. We didn't talk. Our circles meshed and this dude was super funny. I can't resist not having a funny friend. Can You? I officially spoke to him at a party last winter. He was posted up against a wall underneath a black light and I saw him not dancing and I can't have it. So I approached him and asked him to dance with him. He wouldn't, I dance on him anyway.

We smoked together that night.

It's amazing how things unfold by such a little moment in life.

Around March I asked him for his number, I wasn't cheating. Josh was right there. I was really looking for a guy friend because I never really had one because they always liked me more than a friend. no bish I'm not conceited theses are facts. So Anygay. We hung out with his friends and it was fun I felt like I finally had a niche, a clique, a posse, a squad, a friend family a...

Britney Meltdown....aight stand by, Do we have the clippers? Ok,We're on in 5. 4. 3. 2. 1

Adam was dropping bombs or he would like to call hints.

I thought he was a liar. A typical guy move, just corrupting his competition to get to me.

Wrong.

I found out through him. if you dont know click here

Honestly I was using him to get to the truth. I knew something was up. Josh was acting weird.

I was gonna move on. Call our friendship and tell him I no longer would like to subscribe.

I was going to quietly exit the scene. He wouldn't let me go. I would find a way and he would find a way. He won me over. He was the only one who tried to comfort me. Who actually knew what was going on in the clutter old cat lady that I called my brain. Adam played his cards right. I'm not oblivious to how men think. Something wouldn't let me shake him off completely. Something genuine, He was something like me. It was weird. I shared my shame with him.

I cried in front of him

He made me realize that I'm more than a woman. IDK how to explain. He made me realize my power and how I was lowering the settings so as to not to make people jealous, or angry, or just feel some type of way. For some reason people hate people who enjoy life lol. Worrying should I turn my shine down for the sake of others? He's my Nigga. I'm his Nigga.

We have so much in common and nothing in common.

Yes he's fucked up for opening his mouth...but let's be honest. Josh was never going to tell me. Adam liked me, and knew the truth. Plus I was Sherlock Holmes on his ass. Umm Like Duh...

Thank You Adam for making me laugh and walking me through this time in my life....

sidenote: I lost the iPod Josh got me for Christmas around March. I never lose anything. Here's my mom's advice, anything that breaks, gets lost, or etc. If it was a present from a loved one. Shit will ensue...always.

Funny Bitches [Bitter/Sweet]

I think people are angry at me and not because I did some dumb shit towards them. They get mad at me cause I do what I please and not what people expect me to do. I'm not easily subdued by bureaucratic bullshit and diplomacy. Its not built in me. In a way I understand. Things people work hard to obtain I usually get it without really trying and If I actually give a damn, no one will remember your ass. People try so hard to get at me without really getting at me. Which is funny to me. Just say your peace to my face and leave me be. Maybe its my blank stare. Here's a tip for all you lovely people

Anytime someone has some stigma against you, kill them kindness and not fake kindness genuine kindness. This shit pisses them off even more cause they have nothing against you. When you get angry you showing them that you care and you shouldn't because you should be focus on you and your interests.

...I know I know

Here's an example.

I was wearing my white wig and some hot ass outfit looking like a M.O.B. photoshoot. I show up and the girls are looking at me like I'm crazy. Secretly giggling and staring me down. I brush it off cause people have been smirking at me since birth, two years later they're wearing the same shit I was wearing 2 years ago. The thing that made it icing is there "boyfriends" are ready to scoop me up like ice cream. This one dude was staring so hard I felt uncomfortable. The Giggle Twins realize what's really going on and the giggling stops, now I can feel the tension in the air. I'm just vibing with the guys cause they mad cool. All of a sudden Giggle Twins' power must of deactivated cause now they want to be friends.......mmmmmhmmmm [BTW I'm not a thieving chicka. I don't believe in cheaters and I don't need to become one]

"People say things thinking other people are thinking it, when they know they don't even believe it themselves"

- Sumra 13, sister

Like people jus say well she's Shoshannah. LOL I'm my own adjective.

Someone approached me and commented on me and said "Shannah is one hand painted pink and the other white? [insert dumb giggle here]"

Let's evaluate.

I purposely painted my nails those colors. I didn't paint them in the dark and realized when I went outside I realized that I have committed a crime worthy of imprisonment.

You pointing it out does not make it funny. If anything you sound stupid because you know they're pink and white cause you said so, why ask the question?

My answer to this dumb question after these commercial breaks...


This post is brought to you by Energizer Haters "They keep hating and hating and hating..."
Also by iMac "Mac Users swear by their computers, Windows users swear at their computers"
and from viewers like you, thank you! soundtrack provided by Camp Lo's Uptown Saturday Night.

I simply did my "Uraslowbitch" face and said "....umm yeah" and turn my head towards someone worth my interest.


At the end of the day don't let anyone make you feel bad for being yourself.

Good Sleep [Sweet]

I've been going out too much lol, It's summer I'm trying to squeeze it in before school starts. It's good though but my ass never gets that good sleep.

That sleep when you don't actually know when you fell asleep.

That good sleep where you snore and you NEVER snore.

That good sleep where your pillow is soaked in saliva. and ur mouth is crusty.

That good sleep where you wake up and realized half the day is gone.

That good sleep where you don't think bout shit while lying in bed.

That good sleep where you didn't have a dream. Just blanked out.

I need me some of that good sleep.

Nothing feels like Home. [Bittersweet]

I haven't been home in two days. Watched Harry Potter with the Bestie, slept over, hopped my butt over to Franchesca's spend the day with her and slept over and I finally returned home.

I've been feeling homeless. I feel like a Nomad. I feel like I need to find my home, I love my family but I want my own place to call home. I hate roommates, deadass I can't do that shit. I know if I do I'm gonna feel like its not my place being courteous and shit. I'm not a big ass slob but I like walking round naked. I like going to bed at 3 in the morning. Drawing all nite on hardwood floors with art supplies everywhere. I love blasting my music and dancing for absolutely no reason. I like cooking and munching on grapes late at nite, but I never take a bowl. I just pluck them straight from the bag, wash them in my hands, sit down, eat them, wait and do the same shit all over again. I like having my sunday baths hogging the bathroom for the whole day like my own personal spa. Doing different characters while cleaning and doing my chores.

Now I'm sure I can find someone as zanny as my ass, but then I like being alone.

Being Alone!!

I'm going back to CUNY Lehman for my transfer credit assessment and getting things set in stone basically. I can't wait for July 28th to come any sooner. Like I never wanted a month to end so damn bad. I should have enough money by august 1st to start my bartending adventures. Hopefully Bartending will make my dream apt. come true. You Know What, it WILL make my Dream Apt come true.

August is gonna be the fucking month. I can feel it.

I Feel...

Like Bubblegum. My ass is just stuck and I'm not amused anymore. The flavor has fucking ran out and I need to get going. Dilemmas. I got the last piece to my bf's phucked up puzzle that he calls his life. [The puzzle was all black lol and 1000 pieces, yes its phucked up]

This phrase has never been more true

Its not what you know its who you know.