Happy Thanksgiving

Now's the time to sit down with family, to be thankful, to eat and laugh. Everyone is dressed up and showing they're best foot forward. People are dancing to music and drooling for their favorite dishes only Mom can make. We all bow our heads round the dinner table, the couches or wherever you celebrate. We thank and give our love to God and one another and we always miss out on saying thanks to....

the pilgrims for bringing small pox to the Natives and almost killing them physically and then they killed them emotionally, spiritually and physically. Yea, Let's say thanks.....

Naw I'm just kidding folks. 

Stuff your faces and Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!

 Do Natives celebrate Thanksgiving?

Adam.

Finally Bish. I was wondering who the hell is Adam? LOL

Well Let's start at the beginning

wavy ass lines, more wavy ass lines, Wavy lines getting straighter to a flashback.

Adam was a cool dude. He was Funny. He was apart of discipleship. The same class Josh and I were taking among other friends. I always saw him and he always saw me. We didn't talk. Our circles meshed and this dude was super funny. I can't resist not having a funny friend. Can You? I officially spoke to him at a party last winter. He was posted up against a wall underneath a black light and I saw him not dancing and I can't have it. So I approached him and asked him to dance with him. He wouldn't, I dance on him anyway.

We smoked together that night.

It's amazing how things unfold by such a little moment in life.

Around March I asked him for his number, I wasn't cheating. Josh was right there. I was really looking for a guy friend because I never really had one because they always liked me more than a friend. no bish I'm not conceited theses are facts. So Anygay. We hung out with his friends and it was fun I felt like I finally had a niche, a clique, a posse, a squad, a friend family a...

Britney Meltdown....aight stand by, Do we have the clippers? Ok,We're on in 5. 4. 3. 2. 1

Adam was dropping bombs or he would like to call hints.

I thought he was a liar. A typical guy move, just corrupting his competition to get to me.

Wrong.

I found out through him. if you dont know click here

Honestly I was using him to get to the truth. I knew something was up. Josh was acting weird.

I was gonna move on. Call our friendship and tell him I no longer would like to subscribe.

I was going to quietly exit the scene. He wouldn't let me go. I would find a way and he would find a way. He won me over. He was the only one who tried to comfort me. Who actually knew what was going on in the clutter old cat lady that I called my brain. Adam played his cards right. I'm not oblivious to how men think. Something wouldn't let me shake him off completely. Something genuine, He was something like me. It was weird. I shared my shame with him.

I cried in front of him

He made me realize that I'm more than a woman. IDK how to explain. He made me realize my power and how I was lowering the settings so as to not to make people jealous, or angry, or just feel some type of way. For some reason people hate people who enjoy life lol. Worrying should I turn my shine down for the sake of others? He's my Nigga. I'm his Nigga.

We have so much in common and nothing in common.

Yes he's fucked up for opening his mouth...but let's be honest. Josh was never going to tell me. Adam liked me, and knew the truth. Plus I was Sherlock Holmes on his ass. Umm Like Duh...

Thank You Adam for making me laugh and walking me through this time in my life....

sidenote: I lost the iPod Josh got me for Christmas around March. I never lose anything. Here's my mom's advice, anything that breaks, gets lost, or etc. If it was a present from a loved one. Shit will ensue...always.

Mini Goals.

Goals to accomplish this week

*Cuny Lehman and beg like no other lol

*Get a fake ID: I want to party, keep my mind off things

*Get myself arm candy/sugar daddy. Don't get it twisted or dreaded, I'm not a golddigger just an oppurtunist. I can get one without doing anything sexual.

Are you that good Nana?

Why yes I am. In fact I went out and had fun without sex and spent only like 45 dollars.....wait for it... wait for it... I spent 45 for the WEEK!!!

*gasp* bitch you are good

I know, don't doubt next time.

*Go to Afro Punk Festival

*Watch the Youth Play at church this friday. Its friday though....*tear* Last year it was good I'll watch it. Its about lesbians....

*Eat Balanced and healthy

I think those are good goals for the week.

Kiss the rings bitch

Hmm...Twas a Good Week

You ever look at your phone and you always see the same time over and over?

My lucky times are

1:14

2:14

and

11:11

I think 11:11 is my favorite time to look at. LOL cause no other time has 4 of the same numbers.

*sigh* I'm a loser I know, [walks toward the corner and faces the wall]

I've been out every single day except for wednesday. *Gasp* You phucking street rat lol.....

I tried to chill out for sunday but I went out anyways.

Monday I watched Star Trek with Adam [Ill explain who Adam is in an upcoming post]

Tuesday I went to Josh's House and watched Adam's nephew Andre [It was his first bday]

While Adam and Co. fixed the backyard that mexicanos would be pround of.

Wednesday I stayed in.

Thursday Chilled in Co-Op City with Adam and Franchesca. Ate. Weed. Bookstore.

Went back to Fran's Apt. We danced round the coffee table while Adam watched lol. He got a free show.

Narrator:

....As he thirstly watches as Fran danced and beckoned Shoshannah with her hands ever so slightly. Shoshannah Flowed across to her as if she had no feet. They held hands as they fell into each others' rhythm. The booming beat vibrating throught their bodies. Adam put his hand through his hair and adjusted in his seat. Franchesca and Shoshannah let the beat of the music take them. He could feel the seduction.....

Thank You Narrator.

You're welcome Nana

Anyways one of Fran's Love Interest comes and we buy more weed, Kush. He pays and he paid for our late stuffing of our faces at Burger King. I felt like we were all on a date.

Friday Franchesca, The Bestie Emily, and I were suppose to see Transformers but we went to a get together in Queens instead. It was a really nice neighborhood. Like rich. I felt poor looking at it. We drank hang out and smoked some stuff that took me to another level.

It was serious I high fived Jesus, type of high. I felt bad for Emily cause it was her first time smoking and she didnt get high and we were all jackasses.

I'm sorry I gave Emily a glimpse of the dark side.....

Saturday hanged out with my sis Sasha and bro Seth ate. Went to see transformeers in New Roc City. Twas good. Review is coming for that one.

Sunday. Went to Josh's House got high, watched dummy friends lite firecrackers and almost lite themselves, the trees and my hair on fire. LOL

Good Week.

Bittersweet Symphony

I don't know I feel really frustrated right about now I have this blogger so I'm going to use it. I mean I don't need emotions and feelings eating away at my ass til I have crazy hair and think my best friends are my cats.

I'm really stuck in place for the past year I grown up a lot but I'm not making the type of moves I need to make. I have a mission, shit a destiny and I must fulfill that shit. I don't know what I will do If I don't.....

My ass is too blindly determined to think bout failing...

I have the talent and the mind.

"A moment ends, I've got my rhymes [Mind]
Whatever comes, I write [draw] it down
So knock me out and shoot me down
With mics [pencil] in hand, we'll stand against the test of time"

GIFTED by NASA

Some people might think my ass is crazy or don't understand what the fuck I'm aiming for. They'll catch up. LOL The people that are suppose to support you are the ones knocking your ass down. Perfect Strangers know wats up. Why can't you?

I feel like I'm suppose to be waiting and learning, getting ready for round deux. Not necessarily honing my drawing ninja skills but my mindset.

I did this ^ draft a couple of weeks ago and it means more to me now than ever. I've opened my eye to the possibilities, like the REAL possibilities that I can achieve anything if I put my mind to it. I feel like I'm at a real crossroads. I will contine to try to do 45 posts in a month. I told people not to FUCK with me and I prove to them why its so.....

Oh Boy you will remember my name.

Church.

I went to church. It was revival holy ghost thingy. It was good people were bugging out left and right, back and forth. I dunno I wanted to....But then again I didn't. I'm stubborn to the fullest, to the point where it sometimes harms me. I know, that's stupid, But for the people who feel where I'm coming from. They know where I'm coming from.

Anyways still got a lot of sorting out to do before my ass jumps in without knowing what the hell is up.

Last time this shit happened I was pleasing everyone but me. Damn. It's kinda weird reflecting on your prior self. First time I got the Holy ghost I was 9 or 10. Anyways I don't wanna 100% commit knowing on monday I'll be smoking and the Holy ghost will be in the background like "WTF Bitch?!, You went to church yesterday"

Why These People?! [Bitter]

You know what.....

People have no common sense, People might mistake them for stupid but its common sense they're lacking majority of the time. Perfect incident. 

We're filling out some homework sheets and the teacher is basically spoonfeeding us the answers. He's going slow so I go ahead and find the next couple of answers by myself. Next to the questions is the location of the answers. So I'm just zooming through, while still keeping track of where the teacher is at. He say the answer to number 5. A couple people didn't hear so he repeats himself. It started getting ridiculous. Every damn answer he gave someone didn't hear and he has to repeat himself....

Now this teacher loses track of himself often and when constantly repeaying yourself you lose track even more. Now he's lost, repeating shit. I don't blame him he's a older dude and everyone has their faults....But these bitches keep asking him to repeat, as if he's giving some answer to some hard questions. Even if he was wouldn't you listen?

Most of the answers are like two or three words. 

Now I'm thinking,

1. If you didn't hear, why don't you look towards your friends or the person next to you for the answer.

2. Why are you asking the teacher as if its a one on one session?

3. You know this man is old and new at this teaching thing. Why you pushing it?

4.You can't multi-task?

And here's the shit that really got on my nerves

5. Jus look the shit up yourself. The location of the answer is in the question, Book page, number and verse.

Now I wanted to stab someone. You know when they say your team is only as good as the weakest member...that is so true cause honestly it felt like someone sucked out 75% of my brain and plugged up one of my ears. So I can ask "Wait, What did he say? Can you repeat that? Oh...Okay yeah I got it"

Where did these people com from? Let me state this. 

This class is once a week for an hour. It is voluntary. This man is slow as it is.

STOP WASTING MY MUTHAPHUCKY TIME, CHUCKLING AND PHUCKLING!!!!

A Rant from the Heart [Bitter/Sweet]

Why am I the odd one out cause I actually do what I feel?

Does that make me a bad person?

Or should I act one way to society and be myself at home or with a loved one?

My opinions, beliefs, feelings, are mine own. I shouldn't apologize to no one because they are strong. 

Jus because my opinions are strong doesn't mean I'm trying to shove it down your throat.

My mother raised me to have an open mind. 

She did a good job, she did it so well I'm more open-minded than her. I observe and think before I speak. I know the consequences of my actions, good and bad. I strive for what I want with a blind determination. You only get the things you think you deserve. This is not cockiness because I will pay the price and suffer to get where I want to be. When everyone's hope is dwindling that's when mine is flourishing. I will not be in a corner and let life beat the shit out of me. I'm stubborn where it sometimes hurt me, but I always listen when people critique me and although it seems sometimes I didn't take anything with me, I did. I'm emotionally guarded and I use my jokes as a shield. I'm a negative realist and its usually the truth for people around and a negative attribute for me.

You don't have to tell me what you're going through cause I already know AND no its because I'm psychic its because I observe I see your body language and when people miss things I usually pick it up. I play dumb dumb sometimes just so people really don't see the potential ....all the while I already know what you are going to do. I know I do this to protect myself, people always want to destroy what's potential in people cause they have none in themselves. I don't tell people what's going to  happen in their life because they need to go through their shit. Just like my mother watch me fuck up sometimes you have to learn through experience.

I'm still figuring out shit myself and I don't need.... 

The Church Going Woman 

first of all I would like to say FUCK YOU. You can't hold your nose over my head and tell me I'm a sinner and such. Where were you when you were 19, not church so please save the shit. You ain't fooling me and you sure ain't fooling GOD. You're suppose to guide me and yet you take your time out to judge and spew nastiness. All the meanwhile giving GOD a bad name.

Most likely you are there because you got old and no one wanted your old punani. 

I'm not talking bout the dedicated REAL women, jus whoever this applies to

The Forgetful Parents

Ya'll are the reason children hate authority. not because they love anarchy its because ya'll had the power and didn't know what the fuck to do with it. Blaming society for your sluts and deadbeat dads. You hide your colorful past and act like angels and chastise your children like you don't remember what its like to be young.   Truth will set you free. Once you are honest with your children they will respect you. They might not respect what you did but I guarantee they will return the favor. I do. So what if you use your boyfriends to pay the rent!! You did what you had to do to survive. So please don't act like you don't know what's up when your daughter is acting the same way. The thing is whether you tell us the truth or not we know already. Deep down we know, we know.

Cap'n Save Em Teachers

I hate those teachers who have nothing to do with the failure of students but are proud of me and take all credit for my achievements and As. Sipping on coffee and know you aren't trying your best. You came to Bronx to "make a difference" ...no you didn't you came because you are a new teacher and they won't hire you in white surburbia. So you'll get some experince and leave us high and dry. You don't get us and call us rowdy and a lost case. Did you take te time to relate to us? I mean I have to find a way to relate to American Culture...but you don't have to because our culture is miniscule and your culture isn't a culture but the only way to learn and live.

BTW If they make another movie bout a surburban white teacher saving some underprivileged ethnic  kids imma kill someone

Religion

I really don't like religion because you lose touch with the essence of why the religion was here in the first place and get caught up in the rituals and practices. People don't see their earthly life as something to make a change but jus a past time to the real life after death. Black christians who sit down and let whatever happen, Happen because GOD is coming. So white christians have a good earth life and after life? Fighting between religions trying to figure out which one is the right one. When at the end of the day they all have the same essence.

 A better YOU

I'm sick of the masks because I see right through them, Be yourselves people! I wouldn't like to know Life past me by because I was trying to please everyone but myself. I'm not perfect I find myself hesitating when opportunities arrive because I'm scared of reactions. Or maybe I don't want to realize the limit of my abilities. I know my weaknesses and I will make them my strengths for 2009.

Hmm Really? [Bitter]

Umm, I went to Discipleship Class today and it was boring, it usually isn't bad. I enjoyed it the other weeks, but the real teacher took over and I almost got up and left. There were two other classes with grown men and I enjoyed it more eavesdropping on them. What made it worse is that he was really quiet. I hope this is just first day jeeters cause I will change my mind quickly and waste my Sundays some place else.

Videos that fudge up good songs



Christina AGUILERA Keeps Getting Better

Umm Really Christina??
You could of done a lot more with this song please....GO BACK TO BASICS



Jazmine SULLIVAN Bust your Windows



Jazmine Sullivan needs a team to tell her how to be famous and act like she's meant to be in front of the screen. Who gave her that 1990s fur jacket thingy? She needs Rihanna's team, the only one doing their job is Jazmine and her makeup artist. I hate when they half ass with talented people and boost up trash.....

NO BUSTING OF THE WINDOWS I SEE

Josh just made me realize that the broken trail of glass was the car's windows.

REALLY?

In my fit of passion and rage, I busted his windows then swept it up to make a trail for him to see the other shit I did....interesting

What really got me was the perfect new panties she found in the bedroom.

I have never been in this situation and pray to GOD I never will....I'm jus saying if she was to really find some panties they wouldn't look like that. In fact they would be rolled up, used, etc. I mean if your boyfriend is cheating on you in YOUR bedroom I 'm sure when they were ripping each other's clothes off she wasn't like

"Hold on Baby"
* takes off panties, washes them in the basement washer/dryer
comes back upstairs irons them, sprays her perfume on it and stashes it in an obvious place for a woman to find*

"okay let's finish cheating"

jus a thought people....

Goodnite