Its 3 in the morning

and I'm in Joshua Arroyo's house with Adam and Josh watching Rocket Power and munching on snacks and all assorted candies. I thought to myself this might be a good fucking time for a post and voila! I have no idea what to talk about so I ll keep typing until something comes and what not. Rihanna goes on tour with kesha with an $ and not an S but that some dumb fuckhead shit and Nicki Minaj. Yay!

No. she's not Nicki has dropped out to work on her album, while I was excited, I'm not anymore cause I mildly like kesha and I only like to look at rihanna not hear her. So poop. Rihanna is a smart business person, but alas she has to get another girl or something. Good for Nicki cause I saw her new video and .....idk It was shot well but why have Amber Rose in a video and she's just in a car. It's a hot car but come on. I saw the pictures before the video came out and got mad excited and was dissapointed by the editing. Were there some clips I missed? WTF I saw those creepy jungle contortionist dudes more than I saw anything else. Don't get me started on the song itself....

really sean garrett?
Has anyone noticed that he really has no pull.
He kinds of fuck up the song by making it whack.
Massive Attack, the hook was less than massive.

Do Better People. Why should people even care about what I have to say? It's the truth you just didn't know it.Can someone please give me a record deal cause I can do much better. Much Better.

Alritey then,
Night Lovers

Paper Tongues [Sweet]

I like this song a lot. like a lot a lot. The lead singer is feeling his shit, which makes you feel like "yeah, fuck yeah I would go to California, I like this song"




Blast it. People blast it. It sounds better that way. Rock Music needs some decibels so turn the little knobby thing. Knobby. I like that word it sounds weird.

Its simple and delicious. 2010 is going to br a good year of music. I can not take anymore bootydoo and new york is plundering rite about now musically. I mean come on, be honest it's been some time since we had a star and not a celebrity. Fat Joe, no one asked you to represent the Bronx. I like you take no offense, but you slipping you went to the south and try to make it "poppin" there. It failed. You're dumb.

Were they lying in that song?
....If I can make it there I'll make it anywhere.... umm down south down south??

SMH

Okay...A small late nite rant. Back to the subject yeah

I like their name Paper Tongues, sounds all dry and unmoist. Reminds me of cottonmouth when toking and smoking....ahaha you get it? okay very good moving on.

Jus play it over.

Funny Bitches [Bitter/Sweet]

I think people are angry at me and not because I did some dumb shit towards them. They get mad at me cause I do what I please and not what people expect me to do. I'm not easily subdued by bureaucratic bullshit and diplomacy. Its not built in me. In a way I understand. Things people work hard to obtain I usually get it without really trying and If I actually give a damn, no one will remember your ass. People try so hard to get at me without really getting at me. Which is funny to me. Just say your peace to my face and leave me be. Maybe its my blank stare. Here's a tip for all you lovely people

Anytime someone has some stigma against you, kill them kindness and not fake kindness genuine kindness. This shit pisses them off even more cause they have nothing against you. When you get angry you showing them that you care and you shouldn't because you should be focus on you and your interests.

...I know I know

Here's an example.

I was wearing my white wig and some hot ass outfit looking like a M.O.B. photoshoot. I show up and the girls are looking at me like I'm crazy. Secretly giggling and staring me down. I brush it off cause people have been smirking at me since birth, two years later they're wearing the same shit I was wearing 2 years ago. The thing that made it icing is there "boyfriends" are ready to scoop me up like ice cream. This one dude was staring so hard I felt uncomfortable. The Giggle Twins realize what's really going on and the giggling stops, now I can feel the tension in the air. I'm just vibing with the guys cause they mad cool. All of a sudden Giggle Twins' power must of deactivated cause now they want to be friends.......mmmmmhmmmm [BTW I'm not a thieving chicka. I don't believe in cheaters and I don't need to become one]

"People say things thinking other people are thinking it, when they know they don't even believe it themselves"

- Sumra 13, sister

Like people jus say well she's Shoshannah. LOL I'm my own adjective.

Someone approached me and commented on me and said "Shannah is one hand painted pink and the other white? [insert dumb giggle here]"

Let's evaluate.

I purposely painted my nails those colors. I didn't paint them in the dark and realized when I went outside I realized that I have committed a crime worthy of imprisonment.

You pointing it out does not make it funny. If anything you sound stupid because you know they're pink and white cause you said so, why ask the question?

My answer to this dumb question after these commercial breaks...


This post is brought to you by Energizer Haters "They keep hating and hating and hating..."
Also by iMac "Mac Users swear by their computers, Windows users swear at their computers"
and from viewers like you, thank you! soundtrack provided by Camp Lo's Uptown Saturday Night.

I simply did my "Uraslowbitch" face and said "....umm yeah" and turn my head towards someone worth my interest.


At the end of the day don't let anyone make you feel bad for being yourself.

Nothing feels like Home. [Bittersweet]

I haven't been home in two days. Watched Harry Potter with the Bestie, slept over, hopped my butt over to Franchesca's spend the day with her and slept over and I finally returned home.

I've been feeling homeless. I feel like a Nomad. I feel like I need to find my home, I love my family but I want my own place to call home. I hate roommates, deadass I can't do that shit. I know if I do I'm gonna feel like its not my place being courteous and shit. I'm not a big ass slob but I like walking round naked. I like going to bed at 3 in the morning. Drawing all nite on hardwood floors with art supplies everywhere. I love blasting my music and dancing for absolutely no reason. I like cooking and munching on grapes late at nite, but I never take a bowl. I just pluck them straight from the bag, wash them in my hands, sit down, eat them, wait and do the same shit all over again. I like having my sunday baths hogging the bathroom for the whole day like my own personal spa. Doing different characters while cleaning and doing my chores.

Now I'm sure I can find someone as zanny as my ass, but then I like being alone.

Being Alone!!

I'm going back to CUNY Lehman for my transfer credit assessment and getting things set in stone basically. I can't wait for July 28th to come any sooner. Like I never wanted a month to end so damn bad. I should have enough money by august 1st to start my bartending adventures. Hopefully Bartending will make my dream apt. come true. You Know What, it WILL make my Dream Apt come true.

August is gonna be the fucking month. I can feel it.

He Cheated. [BitterSweet]

Hmm I never really talked about my situation with my heart being grinded into mince meat.

IDK I'm a private person lol but then again I don't know you people and will never care to know your opinions bout me so oh wells.

He cheated.

gasp* OMG shannah I thought you were a bad bish. How could this happen?

I know, I know but even people cheat on halle berry and she has a team behind her, so my ass aint different.

I knew in the back of my mind that shit was going to happen, cause I know that dipshit too well. Which is kinda horrifying to watch shit you knew was going to happen, HAPPEN.

Its only the third week. I'm chipper and keeping my spirits high but idk people swear im a robot or some shit lol.

"You seem to be taking this all well"

"Why yes I am. Weed is helping me a lot. If It wasn't for weed I'd prolly be covered in paint drawing dumb shit and wallowing in my pain. Followed by random walks at 3 in the morning and bathing for 4 hours at a time"

awkward silence

"Okay"

We resolved the issue and decided to take a break. Whick basically means. Get our shit together and I'll see you on the other side. Which is about a year.

Now there will be no phucking and etc. He already had his fun. But to be honest I didn't have my fun. I mean is it wrong to date other guys and party and smoke and drink and be a FUCKING 20 year old.

I been a good girl all my life, always passed my classes, upstanding citizen, never gave mom a problem. I'm dead serious I was the perfect child. Let's evaluate

*I never smoked weed til I was out of highschool

*I never drank until I went to college

*I passed my regents with fly fucking colors without getting help from tutors

English 97

US History 90

Global 88

Math 85

Earth Science 85

GPA 85%

I didn't do shit for my last semester of my senior year my gpa would of been higher.

*I never had a boyfriend, cause I didn't want unnecessary distractions

*I read books and drew.

*I never been in a fight. NEVER.

*I know how to cook, clean, and take care of my younger siblings.

It's hard being this way around all the phuckery that is called the Bronx.

I pat myself on the back for this, I'm really thinking bout this shit I must of been the "ONE" of the Bronx Matrix. lol

Now I reap the benefits of my reward.

I deserve this shit. I'm not here for x, y, z. I'm here for me.

Now I don't think he deserves to do the same as me cause honestly he doesn't fucking deserve to. He needs to get his shit together. That would be kinda phucked up. He did me dirty and does whatever he wants on this break and still gets me at the end.

Bitch Please, This ain't Disney.

I feel like his ass was taking me for granted cause I'm not your typical girl and he must of thought I was. Welp now he'll see. Everytime he talking to some girl or no one catches his jokes and realize day by day that I'm a fucking anomaly to what is defined as a woman.

Now am I justified in my thinking?

More Bitter than Sweet

See Kingston behind Me, LOL booty shot
Tattoo is inda swollen

I got a tattoo on my wrist "Its says Faith as I previously mentioned like a eon ago...

But I got it. I broke my tattoo virginity. So excited

Oh while we was there, we were talking and I mentioned my bf Josh. He's best friends with one of the dudes that works there. [he wasn't there today it was his day off] That dude was mad shocked. He was like "I thought he was gay" YOU his girlfriend?

Then he announced to the tattoo artists that I'm Josh's GF.....

Umm Okay you kinda getting wreckless with that shit.

Now I hate to use this example but I'm gonna

Joshua is like a Kanye West type of nigga. You don't automatically sum up this nigga as A.the nigga that bag bitches or B. The nigga that likes to play swords.

That's what we do in society we think gay is a way of life or some shit. Like once people know your gay that's all THEY need to know.

With Kanye West he is not concerned about this bitch and that bitch. He's not talking bout all the dime pieces he got. He's talking bout himself and his interests. People get mighty suspicious when there's no mention of a bitch.

Basically that's what "Girls" do. We can have a conversation without sex being involved.

Niggas look at this and through their pee wee brains assume

A. This nigga didn't mention a bitch

B. This nigga didn't mention sex

Conclusion: Joshua- bitches - sex = Girl= Gay

Now let me give you a word of advice. The nigga that speaks almost nada bout sex, bitches and etc. Is the nigga bagging them left and and right. He's so smooth you didn't realize he was there. That's the nigga you need to talk to....

Obviously, he must be doing something right, He got me and he STILL has me. The first part is alright for dudes but the second, only a few......only a few [I'm hard to handle lol]

You wanna know the icing on this story?

The dude that cause the ruckus wasn't cute. He was 5'8 chubby and rocking a fohawk thingy. Prada sneakers do not make up for that ish....Them shoes will come off at the end of the day, your face won't [cruel I know I don't give a fuck lol]

Panties are Optional [Bittersweet]

I wear no panties sometimes, Big shit.

Some girls be like "Ewwww"...But then again my ass should be saying "ewww" cause what kind of gorillas in the mist shit you hiding? what the hell is 3 inches of cotton protecting you from? That's all I'm saying. Sometimes you gotta let it breathe. I learn this from my Mother. If you and me been together for a minute now and you didn't notice...Well that's a good thing.

I make sure I smell like a dream when I step outside.

Anyways I thought I would share cause people are def frontin' on the issue. It's not even a issue. I mean the only time I can be naked is when I come out the shower? Or when I'm making some "LOve"?

Boo.

BOO.

BOO.

That is why everyone views the naked body as some sexual thing, cause ya'll only use it for that.

What's wrong going to bed naked? Are you in someone else's bed? LOL

How about being naked for no reason. Drawing, painting, reading a book, cooking, etc.

I'm just saying the human body is a beautiful thing. It's how you view things.

I can't even do some things cause you niggas automatically think I'm been some sex fiend stuff.

I can't stretch cause I'm displaying all the glorious curves.

Bitch I'm just yawning. It's a yawn. Damn did you see a nipple?

Thick girls can't get away with shit. I stand still and I'm provoking sexual perversion through the eyes of these good christian men in a Martha Stewart Pant suit.

[Okay maybe not the pant suit, but I should be able to wear my skinny jeans like any other old gal]

Maybe I'm in a bitchy mood. Graduation for my discipleship class is coming up. I get the feeling that Joshua wants me to become this modest dressing woman. He didn't meet me that way so...

Deal with that shit. I don't say nothing bout your tattoos.

I'll dress nice tomorrow with no panties or bra.

Viva La Revolution.

No Mas Underwire. [I'm young they stand up by themselves LOL]

The Lonely Stoner/Dumbass [Bitter]

If all this time you've been hustling for some recognition and fame. Appreciation for what you do in life. Why would you give that up? You're halfway up the mountain and you're ass just rolls down. Showing how a little heat your ass is quick to forfeit and move on. Other people trying to get where you got and you do this.

BITCH ASS BITCH.

I wasn't really into you, but my God take an anti-depressant and get over it. No wonder you're the lonely stoner no one wants to hang with your ass. You're that nigga always talking bout you're problems and conspiracy government theories, killing everyone's high.

[I will bounce to your album and shit, the respect just went down couple notches...]

You made it and now you wanna become an actor?!!

Waaaa?!

Your fanbase is not that damn solid. I personally like Drake's Album better.

[He doesn't sound like a 21 year old white when rapping then change into a 46 year old smoker when having a conversation.]

Kid Cudi is THE perfect name for him

[cudi is a slang for the vagina, for the foreigners]

I Blame Kanye bringing up people jus like him.

Misery Loves Company

Henry the 13th: It just won't die......

I so missed this big part of my life that happened a few weeks ago. Remember Henry, If you don't click this. It was one of my very first posts. Anyways I haven't seen in forever even though he lives in my area. Move in different circles and shit. Well I was gonna pick up Josh from work and my ass is already late. I'm waiting for the train minding my biznesss...

Guess who waddles/sways over no other but Henry

So I flashed a quick fake smile and waved.

I thought he would move on but he didn't

He talked and talked about his moves and coming up in the world and making that money. His certificates, his jobs,etc.

I really hated the D train with all my heart at that point. I wanted to jump in the tracks and just run.

After a century the train comes I aways sit my the window in the corner and guess what he sits right next to me.

The train to Soho is a good 45 minute ride.

And I can't even give my pum pum some breathing room.

He goes on and on.....

Recalling middle school and the conversation that ended my fakery towards him.

I just rolled throught the punches.

Throughout the monologue he kept asking me to make some artistic shit for me.

It's a leather, but on the back it has hands every color and their all reaching up .....

to money or some shit like that

It says hustle hard, and something bout GOD

I almost had an aneyeurism [spell check]

That is the corniest thing ever EVER.

I will not do that for u and rep that shit.

"NO"

but C' mon for sentimental value, what we had together. [Sentimental value?! We were friends once, you became obsessive I moved on you didn't, If I was to do it for you. You'll prolly jack off to it every night knowing that I touched it once and now you're wearing it]

"NO, I'm lazy"[plus its mad corny]

I know a lot of dudes who can do it for me but I want you to do it.[Oh please let them do it and get off my back]

"Naw, I'm good"[OMG just drop it]

LOL Here's the creeper feature moment

He leans in and sniffs me.

"Is that white diamonds?"

"UMMMmmm Yeah....[glance sideways and scream with my eyes for help]"

"ahhh How'd you know?"

"I've been around [please nigga are you trying to imply that you gots it like that....awww BRuhahahahhahahaaa]"

I mean you don't sniff people....

YOU DON'T SNIFF PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

part.2 coming soon

Wake Up Mr. West! [Bitter]

I really need to address cause this man's ego is really getting on my nerves to the fullest like its taking over my mind space and shit. I really cannot fathom this shit sometimes. Does he not hear himself.

“Put this in the magazine: There’s nothing more to be said about music. I’m the f*cking end-all, be-all of music. I know what I’m doing. I did 808s in three weeks. I got it. It’s on cruise control. . . . Man, we talked about music for God knows how long! Now let’s talk about how my fucking sweater didn’t come back right from Korea. That’s what’s interesting me.”

What nigga? Really?

QUE?!

First of all no one will put this man in his place? No one around him, right? He needs to be and quickly. I will the first in line to give Kanye his props . He did change the game a LOT. Totally annihilated the whole "gangsta rap thingy" but he seems to forget that he didn't propel his self into f*#King stardom....

Kanye was always cocky but I'm sorry his last two albums weren't up to parr. Compare to Late Registration...nope*

Up to this day I still play it and still laugh at the fraternity skits....

Graduation was good but it was too commercial every song was ready for airplay and it seem like leftovers from Registration, or maybe he made the songs to early and that type of sound got played.

Graduation was missing the substance......idk jus me

Now 808s and Heartbreak I see where he was going with this one and the sounds and the concepts are fire but it wasn't ready to be released. First of all. 

* He is changing his image

* He is singing [w/ the autotune *sigh*]

*His mother just died and the relationship with his fiance ended

Why he thinks he is the only rapper to do a 180 with this album like I haven't heard it before??

Let's see, I wonder who?

Andre 3000's The Love Below

He did it better and w/o the autotune and he still rapped on some of the tracks and he produced most of the beats from scratch. It fit him perfectly. He wasn't paraded around like he invented music notes.

Missy Elliott's Supafly was done in two weeks and bish years later Im jammin to I Can't Stand the Rain like it came out yesterday.

Pleas and GOD knows I don't need to hear bout your sweater from Korea cause clearly I don't get a shit. Unless your planning on returning it and giving me the refund money. You got this far because of music so of course people are going to ask you questions  bout it.....

I'm sure if Details magazine wanted to know about your Korean sweater They would find the factory or person who made it and interviewed them about the grueling process of knitting for 3 dollars a day. Then plastered them on the cover of the magazine looking borderline indian with the photshopped contouring.

Once Again Please sit down. 

You're not the one, Neo.

  

SchizophrenicAmnesticBitchAss BITCHES!!!! [Bitter]

Fuck a Post...I'm mad lazy...I jus got this one from my old myspace blog. I wrote this back in August for Sasha. I know some of ya'll can relate [who I am kidding, MOST of ya'll will relate]

Enjoy.

Hmm... I thought I would bring this up because everyone seems to be suffering from amnesia and schizophrenia these days with some symptoms of BITCHASSNESS. As Diddy would say...

I don't understand these people going around wanting to be everybody's best friend and they're just playing the role and not actually taking this serious. I mean its just like any other hat you have to put on. You don't see your mom saying she's the best mom and she forgot to feed you for the week, and on top of that she finds a way to make it your fault "Well, you didn't remind me!". I mean come on people....DUH. I mean my sister suffered from these amnesia bitch ass niggers [yeah I said it it actually applies this time] for a while now I'm glad she took her medicine [A special home remedy consists of Lime, Gnarls Barkley's "Going On" and of course FUCK YOU BITCH]

I mean the signs are kinda obvious

1. Bitches that wanna be best friends in two weeks
2. Bitches that get amnesia when shit goes down
3. Bitches that talk shit before you even finishing saying "Goodbye"
4. These Bitches either have too much or too little self esteem 

in extreme cases they just out they fucking minds aka THE JOKER

....when I say bitch I'm not just talking about people with vaginas. I'm not sexist.

Everyone has a friend suffering from this epidemic. Break ties before they falsely accuse YOU
of this condition

But we all want to deny the plain old truth...I mean even I do it sometimes
Whatever you thought of the person when you first met them its probably the truth 

Its funny how everything wraps up back to the beginning, like a nice little package with ribbon
and bow.

...Its just sad to see whats in that package

A Rant from the Heart [Bitter/Sweet]

Why am I the odd one out cause I actually do what I feel?

Does that make me a bad person?

Or should I act one way to society and be myself at home or with a loved one?

My opinions, beliefs, feelings, are mine own. I shouldn't apologize to no one because they are strong. 

Jus because my opinions are strong doesn't mean I'm trying to shove it down your throat.

My mother raised me to have an open mind. 

She did a good job, she did it so well I'm more open-minded than her. I observe and think before I speak. I know the consequences of my actions, good and bad. I strive for what I want with a blind determination. You only get the things you think you deserve. This is not cockiness because I will pay the price and suffer to get where I want to be. When everyone's hope is dwindling that's when mine is flourishing. I will not be in a corner and let life beat the shit out of me. I'm stubborn where it sometimes hurt me, but I always listen when people critique me and although it seems sometimes I didn't take anything with me, I did. I'm emotionally guarded and I use my jokes as a shield. I'm a negative realist and its usually the truth for people around and a negative attribute for me.

You don't have to tell me what you're going through cause I already know AND no its because I'm psychic its because I observe I see your body language and when people miss things I usually pick it up. I play dumb dumb sometimes just so people really don't see the potential ....all the while I already know what you are going to do. I know I do this to protect myself, people always want to destroy what's potential in people cause they have none in themselves. I don't tell people what's going to  happen in their life because they need to go through their shit. Just like my mother watch me fuck up sometimes you have to learn through experience.

I'm still figuring out shit myself and I don't need.... 

The Church Going Woman 

first of all I would like to say FUCK YOU. You can't hold your nose over my head and tell me I'm a sinner and such. Where were you when you were 19, not church so please save the shit. You ain't fooling me and you sure ain't fooling GOD. You're suppose to guide me and yet you take your time out to judge and spew nastiness. All the meanwhile giving GOD a bad name.

Most likely you are there because you got old and no one wanted your old punani. 

I'm not talking bout the dedicated REAL women, jus whoever this applies to

The Forgetful Parents

Ya'll are the reason children hate authority. not because they love anarchy its because ya'll had the power and didn't know what the fuck to do with it. Blaming society for your sluts and deadbeat dads. You hide your colorful past and act like angels and chastise your children like you don't remember what its like to be young.   Truth will set you free. Once you are honest with your children they will respect you. They might not respect what you did but I guarantee they will return the favor. I do. So what if you use your boyfriends to pay the rent!! You did what you had to do to survive. So please don't act like you don't know what's up when your daughter is acting the same way. The thing is whether you tell us the truth or not we know already. Deep down we know, we know.

Cap'n Save Em Teachers

I hate those teachers who have nothing to do with the failure of students but are proud of me and take all credit for my achievements and As. Sipping on coffee and know you aren't trying your best. You came to Bronx to "make a difference" ...no you didn't you came because you are a new teacher and they won't hire you in white surburbia. So you'll get some experince and leave us high and dry. You don't get us and call us rowdy and a lost case. Did you take te time to relate to us? I mean I have to find a way to relate to American Culture...but you don't have to because our culture is miniscule and your culture isn't a culture but the only way to learn and live.

BTW If they make another movie bout a surburban white teacher saving some underprivileged ethnic  kids imma kill someone

Religion

I really don't like religion because you lose touch with the essence of why the religion was here in the first place and get caught up in the rituals and practices. People don't see their earthly life as something to make a change but jus a past time to the real life after death. Black christians who sit down and let whatever happen, Happen because GOD is coming. So white christians have a good earth life and after life? Fighting between religions trying to figure out which one is the right one. When at the end of the day they all have the same essence.

 A better YOU

I'm sick of the masks because I see right through them, Be yourselves people! I wouldn't like to know Life past me by because I was trying to please everyone but myself. I'm not perfect I find myself hesitating when opportunities arrive because I'm scared of reactions. Or maybe I don't want to realize the limit of my abilities. I know my weaknesses and I will make them my strengths for 2009.