Renaissance:2009-2010

2009 was full of bullshit, growing pains and love. I spent the first half of my year going nowhere, just waiting, waiting for my opportunity and 2009 did not have it. By July I had lost all faith in people. I believed that people would let you down no matter what. Everyone nowadays just look out for themselves and fuck over the rest.

My relationship with Joshua was based off a lie and I didn't get the memo. I thought he was my rock but even he fell off the wayside. I was out of school and work. I felt like I had no real friends ( with the exception of a few) I felt this overwhelming pressure from everyone. I didn't know how to solve my problems. I tried what I thought was would work for me. It never worked out. I'm a faithful, caring, bitchy, selfless person and people stepped on me. I felt alone and hurt. I felt like I was wasting my life, like I was helping family and friends to reach their goals. My goals and my dreams were there but I couldn't reach them. At one point I just felt stuck, lost and confused.

I had reached the beginning of adulthood.

I am a fighter, I was trying to do what was right, I was doing what was best for a person like me.

I was doing everything wrong. I was too concerned with what I'm suppose be at in my life.

Other people who were 20, I was watching wondering how come I'm not doing what they're doing.

How come I couldn't find a job?

How come I don't enjoy school?

Why can't I make friends as easily as other people?

Why do they stare?

Why can't I move out my Mom's Home as yet?

Then I realized that I'm not everyone else. I'm never on the same level as other people. So why would I pressure myself and give myself such goals? I was trying to fit in and stand out at the same time. Everyone else was waiting too.

They were expecting and judging and I let them.

I let them.

Now I'm doing what's in my heart. Anything my heart desires I do, relax its nothing too damaging or self inflicting. I'm paving my own path since no path is open for me as yet. Too many times I held back because I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I didn't do what I wanted because it would be frowned upon. I did this and only locked down my heart desires, while people stepped on me.

I'm free from myself.

2010 is coming up and I'm going to rock the shit out of this new year.

Today is the beginning of my Revolution.

Today is my Renaissance!

+plus I've always been a late bloomer :)

Pinkberry Stoop Kids

David and I

Today was a good day. We chilled in Soho/Union Square/Greenwich Village.

Sasha, David, Adam and I. It was just a regular shoot the shit day. I came up with some good marketing ideas and strategies.

Hmm...Twas a Good Week

You ever look at your phone and you always see the same time over and over?

My lucky times are

1:14

2:14

and

11:11

I think 11:11 is my favorite time to look at. LOL cause no other time has 4 of the same numbers.

*sigh* I'm a loser I know, [walks toward the corner and faces the wall]

I've been out every single day except for wednesday. *Gasp* You phucking street rat lol.....

I tried to chill out for sunday but I went out anyways.

Monday I watched Star Trek with Adam [Ill explain who Adam is in an upcoming post]

Tuesday I went to Josh's House and watched Adam's nephew Andre [It was his first bday]

While Adam and Co. fixed the backyard that mexicanos would be pround of.

Wednesday I stayed in.

Thursday Chilled in Co-Op City with Adam and Franchesca. Ate. Weed. Bookstore.

Went back to Fran's Apt. We danced round the coffee table while Adam watched lol. He got a free show.

Narrator:

....As he thirstly watches as Fran danced and beckoned Shoshannah with her hands ever so slightly. Shoshannah Flowed across to her as if she had no feet. They held hands as they fell into each others' rhythm. The booming beat vibrating throught their bodies. Adam put his hand through his hair and adjusted in his seat. Franchesca and Shoshannah let the beat of the music take them. He could feel the seduction.....

Thank You Narrator.

You're welcome Nana

Anyways one of Fran's Love Interest comes and we buy more weed, Kush. He pays and he paid for our late stuffing of our faces at Burger King. I felt like we were all on a date.

Friday Franchesca, The Bestie Emily, and I were suppose to see Transformers but we went to a get together in Queens instead. It was a really nice neighborhood. Like rich. I felt poor looking at it. We drank hang out and smoked some stuff that took me to another level.

It was serious I high fived Jesus, type of high. I felt bad for Emily cause it was her first time smoking and she didnt get high and we were all jackasses.

I'm sorry I gave Emily a glimpse of the dark side.....

Saturday hanged out with my sis Sasha and bro Seth ate. Went to see transformeers in New Roc City. Twas good. Review is coming for that one.

Sunday. Went to Josh's House got high, watched dummy friends lite firecrackers and almost lite themselves, the trees and my hair on fire. LOL

Good Week.

Bubble Battle NYC: The Pics

Some Drawings[Sweet]

My Brother Seth
Praticing an Eye
Sasha [Anti Matter] Growlls LOL
Me. A little cartoonish

I haven't uploaded these in a millenia but here's some of my drawings from last year around this time.

Enjoy Muahz

Dinosaur BBQ [Bitter]

Last Nite was Jason's Bday Dinner and We went to Dinosaur BBQ in Harlem. It was packed and we waited to eat and be merry. It was fine. Then Sasha and I started to notice everyone was in regular clothes. At first I was "It's just the Busboys" then slowly I realized everyone was dressed any which way. Okay that's fine I guess.....

Not really you think if you were a waiter you would give a damn bout your presentation but people were wearing whatever and they didn't have the cutest bodies. They were no tags or nothing.....

You know when you get the feeling that you were in for a ghetto backyardigan meal?

There were too many signs....

Even before I went to the restaurant I looked up the menu and everything was slathered with BBQ and Pork.....And more Pork with more sauce, with more mayo. Every Entree was just meat and Heart attacked filled. I got a little nauseated but I was like "Fuck It" I'll just eat the chicken burger.

We were seated, ordered our drinks.

I loved the sodas. They were old school in glass bottles. It felt like I figure out how they made the sodas unlike Pepsi.

We ordered our food. It was salty...even the simmered greens.

The food was alright. We eating laughing and then Sasha looks to my side and she says "There a roach crawling on the wood behind you"

"You just don't wanna pay for your food"

Then I look over and I see crawling jus chilling and shit. It looked like the ones with the egg sticking out its butt.

I look down on my food and immediately became nauseated. We told another dude that was there and he just had this face "Like Really this is a damn shame"

Shit, if a roach is chilling on the wood how can I know that shit is not crawling in the kitchen?

We tell the waitress. She says did it crawl next to the food?

.....

The manager comes over dress like a 16 with no style she's like 20. She said they opened the windows and that's the reason we saw the roach. The just had an inspection and everything is fine. It happens anytime the windows are open.

WTF?!

So my local chinese spot has their door open all the damn time and I have yet to see roaches crawling in there. You would think this bitch would give us something free or drop the grautuity but NO.

Ghetto Ass Backyardigans.....

We could of caused a scene but it's his birthday.

I ate my food off a very hard plastic plate. We know it ain't porcelain.

The Bill comes and everyone gives what they thought was acceptable and were short 25 fucking dollars. One girl didn't even eat and gave 10. So someone is fucking Jason out of 30 dollars on his Birthday Dinner. Now what type of shit is that. He adding the money together and we're the only ones concerned if the bill is paid....

Everyone is acting like they went blind. On HIS Birthday. They laughing and talking extra hard.

Ghetto Ass Backyardigans.

You would think the bitch who ordered the Long Island Ice Tea+ meal would pay attention.

I already calculated our meal plus tax and tip.

That's what people fail to do. Add tax and tip.

Example: I ordered 25 dollars of food!

No Bitch, tax is like 9% + Tip 15%= 24%

So you really need to pay is 31 dollars.

Boo. If everyone does this shit guess what. We short 6 dollars from everyone.

Sasha got her calculater from the Ipod. We should of paid 33 dollars. We gave 45. Plus the girl who just gave us extra 8 dollars for being kind.

Ugh We did meet some nice people. Some of them were just....

"Why does everyone wants to be a model?"

Do they think its the easy way out? Everyone gets to look and praise me? Here's my opinion.

If you have to tell me your a model, then you're not a model.

The moment I see you I should she that "IT" factor. That shit that makes wanna look at you.

Overall It was a cute gathering minus the roach and fuckery that is Dinosaur BBQ.

I'm just saying.....

*Update ...Sasha stole one of the condiments LOL.....with that damn roach something had to be complimentary. [Don't judge the outfit or my cooked hair, I was not in the mood whatsoeva]

Valentine

It was a nice night for us. It's my boo's 20th birthday and we just let the night do what it suppose to do....

Take us anywhere

First we RSVP'ed to Webster Hall's Valentine's Bash thingy...

Joshua wasn't dressed for it. He had to worked that day....

So my ass scrambled to do something  else so we were going to go to Refuge NYC in Brooklyn for their Party. 

I left first and met Josh at Michael K and then waited for his ass to finish work. Which was around 10 PM.

Btw he had no idea what was going on...I kinda ambushed his ass.

So its cold and Sasha,David and Emily were suppose to be there by 10 already in front of the store so we could go party our guts way.

I called

"Sasha where are you?"

Shoshannah, We bout to leave now.....

The bish got intoxicated before she even left the house great. So they're on the train and we decided we're not gonna wait for them so we go a restaurant called Cosi right off of Union Square. It was delish.

We just had Dessert. I was having a Bloody Valentine's [insert ewwww here] So that's the next best thing.

They had smores and you make it yourself...Little bonfire included. The ho tchocolate was alrite but it was little suspect like NesQuik. When they arrived we told them to get back on the train. We finally met up and Sasha ate most of our ice cream. We were gonna go to a hookah bar and chillando. 

Emily had heels and walked in her stockings the rest of the night.

We went to a sex shop. We tried out different pleasure machines. I spanked Josh. I enjoyed it.

While in the sex shop we see Anthony and Kio and Co. Awkward yes. Will we see each other in church tomorrow of course LOL

We went to Mcdonalds for some nuggets.

Emily lost her purse with all her belongings and actually took it extremely well. It was almost scary.

We found the hookah bar. THe guy at the front was gonna let emily in w/o ID, so nice.

We smoked and talked, took some pictures.

Pictures Bitches

Left around 3.45 smoked some weed.

"OH MY GOD, [whispers] they're smoking reefer!" says nosy ass white gurl on street

LOL

We're waiting for the train and exchanging stories.

After a millenia it finally gets here.

We get on, so relieved

"It's so warm..." mid sentence I stopped 

We realized what we just entered it was a stench no one could cure and it ripped apart our souls. I turned around with my hands like claws and the doors close. Josh ran to transfer to the next train car and that door is locked too. We were all screaming and yelling it was an awful funk. It was a nasty fishy smell I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy's vagina. It was satan himself in smell form. Sasha just kept yelping these funny lines and We couldn't stop laughing.

It was a nice fun night. I mean the things we saw that night. 

It all ended with a kiss at 5 in the morning.

Happy Birthday Josh.

Happy Birthday Bish.

I would like to shoutout Sasha Fierce AKA My Sister Happy Birthday girl......

Work Supermodel.

Click ANTIMATTER at the side for her Blog.

Hey I'm Back.

....And with a vengeance.

Merry Christmas Happy New Year and all that good shit.

I didn't feel like blogging so I'm not gonna force myself, this isn't college.

So anyways things been alrite. I got a killer handbag [Thanks Aunt Bridgette] for Christmas.

I've been playing with my Ipod Touch non stop [Thank You Joshua]

Among other cute things I needed.

Now I'm just counting down until my birthday which is like 12 more days. Imma be 20.

JANUARY 14TH was a blessed day!!!

The last 3 years it rained on my birthday and not happy rain I mean that miserable on and off drizzle windy rain. So I'll be celebrating on the weekend just in case Mother Nature feels like screwing me over AGAIN.

So I've been thinking about my New Year's Resolutions and I don't make stupid unattainable ones.....that just makes you depressed.

One of my goals is to venture out. Go to different things and meet "live" people as Sasha would say. I mean I like my friends now but I need people to know always where the party is....

People who always have things going on in there lives. Which means I have to step my game up.

Go to the schedule pillow fight in downtown NYC in March.

Go to different bouroughs besides Manhattan.

Eat healthier or at least smaller portions of junk food.

Get my career on track.

Draw more. I'm such a lazy motherfooka when it come to this. Anytime I feel the urge people wanna get shy and won't take off their clothes. It's art. relax. If was between a photo and a nude drawing leaking I would prefer the Drawing. Its more tasteful.

Speak my Mind. I try to curve my mouth in general or dumb myself down but no more. I'm not sugar coating most of my stuff. Whatever I think you need to hear I will say it. No more muffled feelings.

I can't stand people with their own agenda. Like why am I your friend and you always dumping me for someone you barely met? I don't understand those types of people. Be Real. In fact this youtube kinda relates to what I'm saying....

This is Qaadir Howard and he's talking bout Gay profile websites. This is too funny and it will relate to your Facebook and Myspace fiends LOL

Enjoy.

Sooner or Later

Sooner or Later

BTW...this song was my jammm

>>s a s|h|a™<<

Blackberry Storm

I knew this was going to happen....

My sister and my love wants this phone.

Its 200 each.....

He already sold his iPhone. I personally think the iPhone is still better...but watevs

They're not going to listen to me anyway.

The Blackberry is shiny and BRAND NEW!!!

So I decided to jus put him on our plan. MUHAHAHHAAA 

Verizon is nice and all but that shit expensive to start up. Plus sometimes they have like back up fees. When taking a new customer....

Aww Christmas.

Oggle the video....

I picked this one cause his voice is nice LOL